There's Helpful, And Then there's Harassment!

Before I get into this, I want all my sighted friends and family to
know that this isn't a post to bash the sighted world, or a
"pro-blind" post, or any of that...This is venting frustrations at the
idiots who don't get the fact that we CAN board a bus without
assistance generally, and to explain to a small segment of the
population as to what they should or shouldn't do when they meet a
blind person. Much of this is common sense, but as a friend of mine
has so often put it, common sense isn't all that common these days.

This post has been a long time coming, but today's incident made me
realize that now is the time.

So, I arrived at the South Everett Freeway Station, as I do just about
every morning. Heather guided me to the bench, and I sat down, and I
heard a voice on the bench next to me, talking on her cell phone.
Something in my mind said "That voice is familiar", but it didn't
register until the bus arrived, and she grabbed me by my jacket sleeve
and told me "I'm pushing you to the front of the line." My response
was "You REALLY want to play this game again? Thanks, but I've told
you before that I don't need your assistance."

I hadn't seen her in five or six months, so I'd hoped she'd maybe lost
her job, or was taking a different bus...But nope; she's back...At
least for today.

As we get up to the step, I had the rail, I began to step on, and she
grabs my jacket again, momentarily surprising me, and almost causing
me to lose my footing...Just what I need, another broken leg...Right?

So, we got on; she sat down in her area of the bus, I sat in mine. For
those who follow me on Twitter, you saw my rant...Essentially, I told
what happened. But after having conversations on Twitter with several
people, I realized maybe it's time for a little education of the
sighted community at large. Again, my friends and family are mostly
excellent at assisting me when I need it. Hell, even Alexis, my
6-year-old daughter, has mastered the art of guiding me from place to
place when needed. Not bad at all.

First, it's very simple. Unless you see that we're in danger, don't
grab a blind person by the arm, the shoulders, the backpack, or any
other appendage or article of clothing. You wouldn't want it done to
you; don't do it to us.

Second, don't assume we automatically need assistance...Most of us are
capable of asking for help. At the same time, it's always acceptable,
okay, and encouraged for you to ask us. However, if we say we've got
it, don't assume you know best and just grab and drag anyway. That's
been my biggest issue with this woman. She's told me on a couple of
occasions that she knows what's best for me, and for the line as a
whole, and that she's going to do it her way. I keep trying to get her
name, but she won't give it. Several friends have recommended that I
get a description, and if she gets in my face again, call the cops and
nail her for harassment and possibly assault...I'm not sure that it's
worth all that, but I WOULD like her to take her fake do-gooder
attitude and shove it someplace.

Again...Don't assume we're all helpless and lost. Ask if we need help
or wait for us to ask you, and don't simply grab and assume you know
where we're going.

In this case, from the bench, it's a straight shot to the bus...I can
navigate this by sound. Once I'm on the bus, let me know where a free
seat is...And that's usually about all the assistance I need when
boarding a bus...I don't need to be yanked or pushed because you think
you know better than me where I'm going. I swear, I'm going to risk an
assault charge and punch the next person who does this...For the
record, I've had at least 30 encounters with this lady.

This practice is also dangerous. I've heard from many blind friends
who've had people "help" them by guiding them to the wrong place just
because they've assumed they knew where the person was going.

As cheesy as the film is, it makes me think everyone should be
required at some point to view a film my O&M instructor/good friend
Jay Taska used to show all my schools/classes, "What to Do when You
Meet a Blind Person". The film's old...And by film, I mean he
literally showed it on an old projector...But the message is still
relevant.

We're just like the rest of you, except our eyes don't work. Our
brains and ears, for the most part, work fine.

Feel free to leave comments or ask any questions. This could make for
some good discussion.

Blind Children Need Better Social Education: Is The Problem Parents, Or Society?

Today at lunch, I had an experience that took me back to high school days. Now, I'm 32, so before anyone gets snarky, high school wasn't THAT long ago...But, it let me know that sadly, when it comes to my fellow blind people, things really haven't changed. As a warning, this post will probably anger a few people, but remember...My blog, my opinions. You don't like them? Leave a comment, start your own blog, or try to convince me I'm wrong.

Where I work, we get students from an independent living-type program every summer. Having gone through one of these programs, here's the drill for sighted readers, and other blind readers who maybe didn't have such a program. Basically, they take you and have you live away from home. Where I grew up, it was a month, but you went home on weekends. They try to teach you some basic living skills...Doing your own laundry, making meals, washing dishes, in some cases some personal grooming, and things like this. Also, as part of this program, they get you a job for the month, usually minimum wage, and usually the first work experience most of us get. For me, thanks to great parents, I knew most of the basic life skills they showed us, but went for the interaction and for the job as when I was growing up, it was still difficult for a blind student to get an after-school job. In the programs in which I participated, I made some good friends...But we also had some students that made us all cringe. You know the type; someone who brings to mind every stereotype about the blind, and then a few that, sadly, I think we're the only ones who really notice...And the sighted world either doesn't see these, or they stupidly ignore them, thinking "He's got a disability...he probably doesn't know any better". And here's where we pick up today's story.

I was having lunch, and happened to sit with this year's crop of kids. Of the four, I'll say right now that I have great hope for two of them...The other two...No comment. and for the record, I'm not saying where I work, though those who know me know what I do for a living. Also, for the record, this is being written in my personal time, in my own blog, and is in no way connected to my employer. I don't know what their opinion of this post would be, but this is not associated/affiliated with them in the least.

During the course of lunch, I conversed with the students, made small talk, and we generally had a good time. To set the scene, it was me and three of the students; two males, and one female. During the course of the conversation, one of the males, who, unfortunately, is the typical sheltered blind kid in many ways, blurts out to the female "You're hot...I mean, REALLY hot". She tells him to knock it off, and expresses the fact that she's uncomfortable with it. He then turns to me and says "Man, she won't go out with me. Why not? What's wrong with me?" I explain that it's really not tactful to talk to a woman that way in the work place, and really inappropriate to ask a colleague, in this case me, why she won't go out with him right in front of her. So instead of realizing he should change his track, he says "I used to have a girlfriend. She was dumb, but hot...And she had the biggest boobs in the world."

For the readers who are employed, you know that if you or I said that, we'd be looking at a sexual harassment complaint, a write-up, and possibly a loss of job. I explained this to this young man. Luckily, he seemed to kind of understand that he was wrong, but then went on to ask really personal questions about something that happened to this young lady's family. I admit I intervened and asked her if she was okay. She said she was, but she, along with me, explained to this kid that the question was REALLY inappropriate and, in her words, "could get your ass beat" if you asked the wrong person that question.

In the end, I let our director know, and she in turn intends to let his supervisor know what's happened.

My issues with this incident are many.

First off, I realize these people are young. Usually between 16 and 19 or so. But shouldn't parents, teachers, somebody be tteaching them that certain things are simply inappropriate, especially in a work or other public setting? This kid swore he had no clue he was doing anything wrong.

Next, I saw this in the independent living programs I participated in as a youth. It was usually either the kid who was blind with other disabilities, or simply blind, but had sheltering, and in many cases, overbaring, parents...Unfortunately, usually sons, with mothers who were a bit too over-protective while also being equally demanding and pushy. I did not, however, see this behavior from sighted, non-disabled peers. So it makes me wonder, are we as a society teaching ourselves and our children that it's okay for the disabled to be inappropriate as human beings? And if that's the case, isn't that doing them a disservice? The real world isn't going to, and shouldn't, except this behavior.

Finally, doesn't human nature sort of kick in at some point and tell you "Whoa! What I'm saying is way out of line and wrong."? Don't get me wrong; I had great parents who showed me how to act as a person, as a man, and as a functioning member of society. However, I don't remember mom and dad having to tell me "Now, sexually harassing a person is wrong...And we don't talk about boob sizes in the lunchroom at work." I just sort of always figured that was a conversation, if it happens at all, best saved for the local bar with your buddies, at home, or something of that nature.

I don't know...Maybe I'm making too much of this, or maybe I'm expecting too much from the parents of blind and disabled kids. All I know is I had great parents...and still do, for that matter...who would've NEVER let me get away with something like that. yet, as I said, I see it all the time in the blind and disabled community, especially among my fellow males...many of them seem to never be tought right from wrong when it comes to social situations. Why is this?

At the same time, it's not just the parents who are at fault. Sadly, I notice it's also rampant with the kids who've gone to "specialized" schools all their lives. Those of us who went to a public school as opposed to a school for the blind generally seem to be a bit better adjusted to the world. I know there are many benefits to a school for the blind for some, but it definitely makes me question how much good they're doing...Or, maybe they just need to spend a bit more time on social skills for acting like a human being instead of an animal or an infant. And for the record, though I didn't attend school there, the state in which I currently reside is fortunate to have the best school for the blind in the country. They tend to do a great job.

Again, these are just my opinions. If you have a different opinion, I welcome your comments.

Wes Derby On the Evergreen Radio Reading Service This Wednesday

For those who are interested, I will be one of the guestts on the Evergreen Radio Reading Service's talk show this Wednesday, March 4, at 6:00 PM. As part of their monthly "Meet the Staff" hour, myself and Alan Bentson, the readers' advisors for the Washington Talking Book & Braille Library will be the guests for the hour.

We'll be taking listener calls, and anyone from around the world can tune in to the web stream. No password required. So, if you're not busy at 6:00 PM Pacific time and wonder what I sound like, check us out. Just Click here and select your preferred media player.

Hope to see you there.

David Paterson: Disgrace to the Blind Community #TCOT

Recently, a friend via Twitter directed followwers to This post by Ben Smith regarding New York Governor David Paterson. I want everyone to read it, and then come back and finish reading what I have to say. I rrealize my title may sound a bit harsh, but I do intend to defend my stance.

If you read Mr. Smith's post, you ssee that Governor Paterson doesn't read Braille, doesn't apparently use any assistive technology products such as JAWS, WindowEyes, or other products that would make his life easier, and doesn't, from what I can ttell, use even a cassette player or digital media player to lissten to memos, notes, and other important materials. Instead, he relies on staff to spend time reading things to him that any other independent blind person, myself included, can easily find ways to read him/herself. I think the reason I find this so disturbing is that I know that, if I were doing my job the way Governor Paterson does his, I likely would no longer have a job.

Face it, folks. Mr. Paterson is a blind person who can't read braille. To myself and many other blind people I know, this is the same as a sighted person who can't read print...Or a partially sighted person who has never learned to read large print. This isn't a guy who lost his sight a few years ago and hasn't had a chance to learn; he's had opportunities, and from what we can tell, hasn't taken advantage of them. If you found out that your governor couldn't read and was relying on staff to read to him, would you re-elect him? No. In my opinion, Paterson should be treatted no differently. At the same time, even if he can't/won't rread braille, there are technology productts outt there that would allow him to do his own rreading. There are scanning programs, scrreenreaders, and many other devices out there, and if Paterson or his aides would do a little research, they would find a world of technology to help him do the job on his own. As an example, in my job, I use a computer with JAWS for Windows for speech, a braille display, and all of the standard Windows programs. I do have a person who takes a look at my mail and emails me necessary information so I can look at it at my convenience. Were that volunteer not available, I could use an off-the-shelf scanner and an OCR program to scan information into MS Word.

Instead of being offended by Saturday Night Live's depiction of Governor Paterson, maybe his office and my fellows in the blind community should be offended by his lack of competence in basic life skills. Maybe New York should be looking for its next Governor, and praying they have someone better to elect when the next election comes around. I'm not sure how this guy got as far as he did with his limited skill set. I'm a very advanced computer user, braille reader, and know my technology pretty well, and am pretty lucky to have a job. Unfortunately, most blind people I know have a lot of difficulty finding work. It's even harder if they can't rread braille or use available technologies. I think that may be why Governor Paterson is such a disgrace in my book.

I know someone will probably come along and say "Can't you just be happy for the guy"? Sorry, but no. He's managed to hoodwink the people of New York. He is, in my belief, a bad representation of the tblind community. I doo fear he will set us back in many ways. What's going to happen if a ccompetent person, who just happens to be blind, decides to run for high office, such as governor, senator, and so on? Is he/she going to have a fair shot, or are people going to say "Remember what happened with that Paterson guy? He couldn't even perform the basic functions of his job without help."

For the record, I'm thrilled for anyone who makes a success of themselves, blind or sighted, when they do it the right way. I was as excited as everyone else when Paterson became Governor and I learned of his blindness. But the more incapable I learned he was, the more saddened I became. He's not helping himself, and he's certainly not helpingg the blind community as a whole.

In closing, these comments are strictly my opinions and do not in any way claim to represent the opinions of any groups with which I may be afffiliatted.