Blind Children Need Better Social Education: Is The Problem Parents, Or Society?

Today at lunch, I had an experience that took me back to high school days. Now, I'm 32, so before anyone gets snarky, high school wasn't THAT long ago...But, it let me know that sadly, when it comes to my fellow blind people, things really haven't changed. As a warning, this post will probably anger a few people, but remember...My blog, my opinions. You don't like them? Leave a comment, start your own blog, or try to convince me I'm wrong.

Where I work, we get students from an independent living-type program every summer. Having gone through one of these programs, here's the drill for sighted readers, and other blind readers who maybe didn't have such a program. Basically, they take you and have you live away from home. Where I grew up, it was a month, but you went home on weekends. They try to teach you some basic living skills...Doing your own laundry, making meals, washing dishes, in some cases some personal grooming, and things like this. Also, as part of this program, they get you a job for the month, usually minimum wage, and usually the first work experience most of us get. For me, thanks to great parents, I knew most of the basic life skills they showed us, but went for the interaction and for the job as when I was growing up, it was still difficult for a blind student to get an after-school job. In the programs in which I participated, I made some good friends...But we also had some students that made us all cringe. You know the type; someone who brings to mind every stereotype about the blind, and then a few that, sadly, I think we're the only ones who really notice...And the sighted world either doesn't see these, or they stupidly ignore them, thinking "He's got a disability...he probably doesn't know any better". And here's where we pick up today's story.

I was having lunch, and happened to sit with this year's crop of kids. Of the four, I'll say right now that I have great hope for two of them...The other two...No comment. and for the record, I'm not saying where I work, though those who know me know what I do for a living. Also, for the record, this is being written in my personal time, in my own blog, and is in no way connected to my employer. I don't know what their opinion of this post would be, but this is not associated/affiliated with them in the least.

During the course of lunch, I conversed with the students, made small talk, and we generally had a good time. To set the scene, it was me and three of the students; two males, and one female. During the course of the conversation, one of the males, who, unfortunately, is the typical sheltered blind kid in many ways, blurts out to the female "You're hot...I mean, REALLY hot". She tells him to knock it off, and expresses the fact that she's uncomfortable with it. He then turns to me and says "Man, she won't go out with me. Why not? What's wrong with me?" I explain that it's really not tactful to talk to a woman that way in the work place, and really inappropriate to ask a colleague, in this case me, why she won't go out with him right in front of her. So instead of realizing he should change his track, he says "I used to have a girlfriend. She was dumb, but hot...And she had the biggest boobs in the world."

For the readers who are employed, you know that if you or I said that, we'd be looking at a sexual harassment complaint, a write-up, and possibly a loss of job. I explained this to this young man. Luckily, he seemed to kind of understand that he was wrong, but then went on to ask really personal questions about something that happened to this young lady's family. I admit I intervened and asked her if she was okay. She said she was, but she, along with me, explained to this kid that the question was REALLY inappropriate and, in her words, "could get your ass beat" if you asked the wrong person that question.

In the end, I let our director know, and she in turn intends to let his supervisor know what's happened.

My issues with this incident are many.

First off, I realize these people are young. Usually between 16 and 19 or so. But shouldn't parents, teachers, somebody be tteaching them that certain things are simply inappropriate, especially in a work or other public setting? This kid swore he had no clue he was doing anything wrong.

Next, I saw this in the independent living programs I participated in as a youth. It was usually either the kid who was blind with other disabilities, or simply blind, but had sheltering, and in many cases, overbaring, parents...Unfortunately, usually sons, with mothers who were a bit too over-protective while also being equally demanding and pushy. I did not, however, see this behavior from sighted, non-disabled peers. So it makes me wonder, are we as a society teaching ourselves and our children that it's okay for the disabled to be inappropriate as human beings? And if that's the case, isn't that doing them a disservice? The real world isn't going to, and shouldn't, except this behavior.

Finally, doesn't human nature sort of kick in at some point and tell you "Whoa! What I'm saying is way out of line and wrong."? Don't get me wrong; I had great parents who showed me how to act as a person, as a man, and as a functioning member of society. However, I don't remember mom and dad having to tell me "Now, sexually harassing a person is wrong...And we don't talk about boob sizes in the lunchroom at work." I just sort of always figured that was a conversation, if it happens at all, best saved for the local bar with your buddies, at home, or something of that nature.

I don't know...Maybe I'm making too much of this, or maybe I'm expecting too much from the parents of blind and disabled kids. All I know is I had great parents...and still do, for that matter...who would've NEVER let me get away with something like that. yet, as I said, I see it all the time in the blind and disabled community, especially among my fellow males...many of them seem to never be tought right from wrong when it comes to social situations. Why is this?

At the same time, it's not just the parents who are at fault. Sadly, I notice it's also rampant with the kids who've gone to "specialized" schools all their lives. Those of us who went to a public school as opposed to a school for the blind generally seem to be a bit better adjusted to the world. I know there are many benefits to a school for the blind for some, but it definitely makes me question how much good they're doing...Or, maybe they just need to spend a bit more time on social skills for acting like a human being instead of an animal or an infant. And for the record, though I didn't attend school there, the state in which I currently reside is fortunate to have the best school for the blind in the country. They tend to do a great job.

Again, these are just my opinions. If you have a different opinion, I welcome your comments.

Update on the Leg: For those who are Interested

I'm posting this here instead of directly to my Facebook notes so that it will upddate both via FB and via TwitterFeed to my Twitter followers. To the general public, this will likely not be of much interest. :-)

Quick Background: For new followers and friends...On June 6, I broke my Tibia, just above the ankle. On June 9, I injured it further when coming out of the shower. On June 17, I had an operation to put a titanium plate and some screws in the area. I was in splints off and on, and had a full cast put on on June 24. Since the break, unfortunately, I've been away from work, but have been fortunate enough to be allowed to work from home since June 22.

Okay, history lesson over. We have new stuff today.

When I took my shower last night, some water seeped in to the cast through the cast cover, turning the front edge of the cotton liner into a nasty mush and keeping my skin gooey and wet. (Doesn't that sound appetizing?) I called the doctor's office, and they said I should come in and we'd just take the cast off a week early. So, the good news is, I'm out of the cast and in a walking boot.

I'm still not supposed to put any weight on the injurred leg until about the first part of August, however, but after that, can begin trying to walk. The doctor says to put limited weight on it at first, and maybe use a walker. Then, I'll go back to see him in mid-August, and we'll also start up physical therapy at that time.

Since the telecommuting is working out so far, he's decided he doesn't want me to return too the office on a physical basis until right after Labor Day...So here's hoping we can keep enough projects going for me to keep working from home. That, for me, is the one downside...The delays in getting back out in to society. If it weren't for doctor's appointments and the occasional other outing, I would've forgotten what the sun feels like.

I also want to take this opportunity to thank family and friends for their help and support in this time of chaos.

So, that's where we are. Boot now, walking somewhat by the start of August...Physical therapy in mid-august. Out of the boot and back to work, if all goes as planned, by Labor Day.

Talk to you all soon.

Why President Obama SHOULD Apologize: And It's not Why You Might Think

By now, we've all heard about President Obama's "Special Olympics" joke with regards to his bowling average last night on "The Tonight Show". Anyone who knows me knows I'm not an Obama supporter, or a liberal, in the least. However, as a blind person, and someone who has had many friends in Special Olympics, I did not find the comment offensivve in the least. In fact, I think it showed the US President has a "regular guy" side to him.

However, I do think he does need to apologize, and I think Special Olympics folks have the right to be calling for his resignation. Listeningg to comments from Anthony from the Opie & Anthony show opened my eyes.

Flash back a couple years to April of 2007. Don Imus was fired for simply referring to a women's college basketball team as "nappy headed hos". I guaranttee you 99% of those girls had never heard of Imus. Maybe their grandpas knew who he was, but the girls had no idea. Fast-forward a few months. Opie & Anthony themselves were suspended for comments made by a homeless gentleman on their show with reference to Condi Rice, the Queen of England, and other notable figures. They didn't make or condone "Homeless Charlie's" comments, but as the hosts of a supposedly uncensored satellite radio show, they received a suspension for something that likely offended no one in their actual audience.

These are just two cases of incidents wherre comments made in the context of a comedic setting caused the maker of the comments or the host of the show to lose his job on either a temporary or permanent basis. In the case of Mr. Imus, the charge to have him fired was, naturallly, led by Al Sharpton, a "leader" in the black community. Mr. Imus's comments offended the Rutgers women's basketball team; he was fired. Comments made by a homeless guest of the Opie & Anthony show offended the former Secretary of State, Queen of England, and former First Lady; Opie & Anthony were suspended for a month from their XM Satellite Radio show, which is supposed to be uncensored. In both cases, the people who were offended were less likely to have been listening than a Special Olympics athlete was to have been watchingg our president on last night's "Tonight Show".

As I've said, I am not personally bothered by his comments. However, if leaders in his race are going to demand the firing of Don Imus for supposedly rracist comments made in the context of comedy, and if Opie & Anthony, amongst others, are going to be suspended from their radio jobs for comments made about political figures in a comedic context, why should our president not be held to the same, if not a higher, standard when making a joke that invokes the disabled? I guarantee that if a white, male comic or radio/TV host had slipped in the Special Olympics remark as Mr. Obama did, he would be looking for a job, or at least be on unpaid suspension, and be forced to apologize.

I'm not asking that the president actually step down over this. God knows we don't want to hear the words "President Biden". That might be enough to spark revolution, or revulsion...Not sure which. But I do believe that if people who actually are funny for a living can be forced to apologize, our president should be held to no less of a standard...And if he can find the time in his schedule, maybe he should have a group of SO athletes to the White House for a bowling tournament in the near future. That's all I'm saying.

Wes Derby On the Evergreen Radio Reading Service This Wednesday

For those who are interested, I will be one of the guestts on the Evergreen Radio Reading Service's talk show this Wednesday, March 4, at 6:00 PM. As part of their monthly "Meet the Staff" hour, myself and Alan Bentson, the readers' advisors for the Washington Talking Book & Braille Library will be the guests for the hour.

We'll be taking listener calls, and anyone from around the world can tune in to the web stream. No password required. So, if you're not busy at 6:00 PM Pacific time and wonder what I sound like, check us out. Just Click here and select your preferred media player.

Hope to see you there.

David Paterson: Disgrace to the Blind Community #TCOT

Recently, a friend via Twitter directed followwers to This post by Ben Smith regarding New York Governor David Paterson. I want everyone to read it, and then come back and finish reading what I have to say. I rrealize my title may sound a bit harsh, but I do intend to defend my stance.

If you read Mr. Smith's post, you ssee that Governor Paterson doesn't read Braille, doesn't apparently use any assistive technology products such as JAWS, WindowEyes, or other products that would make his life easier, and doesn't, from what I can ttell, use even a cassette player or digital media player to lissten to memos, notes, and other important materials. Instead, he relies on staff to spend time reading things to him that any other independent blind person, myself included, can easily find ways to read him/herself. I think the reason I find this so disturbing is that I know that, if I were doing my job the way Governor Paterson does his, I likely would no longer have a job.

Face it, folks. Mr. Paterson is a blind person who can't read braille. To myself and many other blind people I know, this is the same as a sighted person who can't read print...Or a partially sighted person who has never learned to read large print. This isn't a guy who lost his sight a few years ago and hasn't had a chance to learn; he's had opportunities, and from what we can tell, hasn't taken advantage of them. If you found out that your governor couldn't read and was relying on staff to read to him, would you re-elect him? No. In my opinion, Paterson should be treatted no differently. At the same time, even if he can't/won't rread braille, there are technology productts outt there that would allow him to do his own rreading. There are scanning programs, scrreenreaders, and many other devices out there, and if Paterson or his aides would do a little research, they would find a world of technology to help him do the job on his own. As an example, in my job, I use a computer with JAWS for Windows for speech, a braille display, and all of the standard Windows programs. I do have a person who takes a look at my mail and emails me necessary information so I can look at it at my convenience. Were that volunteer not available, I could use an off-the-shelf scanner and an OCR program to scan information into MS Word.

Instead of being offended by Saturday Night Live's depiction of Governor Paterson, maybe his office and my fellows in the blind community should be offended by his lack of competence in basic life skills. Maybe New York should be looking for its next Governor, and praying they have someone better to elect when the next election comes around. I'm not sure how this guy got as far as he did with his limited skill set. I'm a very advanced computer user, braille reader, and know my technology pretty well, and am pretty lucky to have a job. Unfortunately, most blind people I know have a lot of difficulty finding work. It's even harder if they can't rread braille or use available technologies. I think that may be why Governor Paterson is such a disgrace in my book.

I know someone will probably come along and say "Can't you just be happy for the guy"? Sorry, but no. He's managed to hoodwink the people of New York. He is, in my belief, a bad representation of the tblind community. I doo fear he will set us back in many ways. What's going to happen if a ccompetent person, who just happens to be blind, decides to run for high office, such as governor, senator, and so on? Is he/she going to have a fair shot, or are people going to say "Remember what happened with that Paterson guy? He couldn't even perform the basic functions of his job without help."

For the record, I'm thrilled for anyone who makes a success of themselves, blind or sighted, when they do it the right way. I was as excited as everyone else when Paterson became Governor and I learned of his blindness. But the more incapable I learned he was, the more saddened I became. He's not helping himself, and he's certainly not helpingg the blind community as a whole.

In closing, these comments are strictly my opinions and do not in any way claim to represent the opinions of any groups with which I may be afffiliatted.