know that this isn't a post to bash the sighted world, or a
"pro-blind" post, or any of that...This is venting frustrations at the
idiots who don't get the fact that we CAN board a bus without
assistance generally, and to explain to a small segment of the
population as to what they should or shouldn't do when they meet a
blind person. Much of this is common sense, but as a friend of mine
has so often put it, common sense isn't all that common these days.
This post has been a long time coming, but today's incident made me
realize that now is the time.
So, I arrived at the South Everett Freeway Station, as I do just about
every morning. Heather guided me to the bench, and I sat down, and I
heard a voice on the bench next to me, talking on her cell phone.
Something in my mind said "That voice is familiar", but it didn't
register until the bus arrived, and she grabbed me by my jacket sleeve
and told me "I'm pushing you to the front of the line." My response
was "You REALLY want to play this game again? Thanks, but I've told
you before that I don't need your assistance."
I hadn't seen her in five or six months, so I'd hoped she'd maybe lost
her job, or was taking a different bus...But nope; she's back...At
least for today.
As we get up to the step, I had the rail, I began to step on, and she
grabs my jacket again, momentarily surprising me, and almost causing
me to lose my footing...Just what I need, another broken leg...Right?
So, we got on; she sat down in her area of the bus, I sat in mine. For
those who follow me on Twitter, you saw my rant...Essentially, I told
what happened. But after having conversations on Twitter with several
people, I realized maybe it's time for a little education of the
sighted community at large. Again, my friends and family are mostly
excellent at assisting me when I need it. Hell, even Alexis, my
6-year-old daughter, has mastered the art of guiding me from place to
place when needed. Not bad at all.
First, it's very simple. Unless you see that we're in danger, don't
grab a blind person by the arm, the shoulders, the backpack, or any
other appendage or article of clothing. You wouldn't want it done to
you; don't do it to us.
Second, don't assume we automatically need assistance...Most of us are
capable of asking for help. At the same time, it's always acceptable,
okay, and encouraged for you to ask us. However, if we say we've got
it, don't assume you know best and just grab and drag anyway. That's
been my biggest issue with this woman. She's told me on a couple of
occasions that she knows what's best for me, and for the line as a
whole, and that she's going to do it her way. I keep trying to get her
name, but she won't give it. Several friends have recommended that I
get a description, and if she gets in my face again, call the cops and
nail her for harassment and possibly assault...I'm not sure that it's
worth all that, but I WOULD like her to take her fake do-gooder
attitude and shove it someplace.
Again...Don't assume we're all helpless and lost. Ask if we need help
or wait for us to ask you, and don't simply grab and assume you know
where we're going.
In this case, from the bench, it's a straight shot to the bus...I can
navigate this by sound. Once I'm on the bus, let me know where a free
seat is...And that's usually about all the assistance I need when
boarding a bus...I don't need to be yanked or pushed because you think
you know better than me where I'm going. I swear, I'm going to risk an
assault charge and punch the next person who does this...For the
record, I've had at least 30 encounters with this lady.
This practice is also dangerous. I've heard from many blind friends
who've had people "help" them by guiding them to the wrong place just
because they've assumed they knew where the person was going.
As cheesy as the film is, it makes me think everyone should be
required at some point to view a film my O&M instructor/good friend
Jay Taska used to show all my schools/classes, "What to Do when You
Meet a Blind Person". The film's old...And by film, I mean he
literally showed it on an old projector...But the message is still
relevant.
We're just like the rest of you, except our eyes don't work. Our
brains and ears, for the most part, work fine.
Feel free to leave comments or ask any questions. This could make for
some good discussion.
7 comments:
Awesome. Yeah I always feel guilty giving people the scoop on helping a blind person because I'm afraid they'll take offense to my frustration. What a woman. Do you have a phone with a camera on it? Maybe you can get a good snapperoo. People can be special.
My phone DOES have a camera, but from what I understand, it doesn't work unless I disable Mobilespeak. though, it's tempting to have someone snap a pic, and put it up on this post.
I agree with you 100 percent and I also feel that grabbing someone's cane arm can and most certainly will cause them to lose the cane from his are her grip. People don't think about things until they actually do them and then something. I'll give you 1 example. I was trying to get to the stairwell to go to my train so that I could get home. I was living in buffalo. Well someone dirrected me to one of the elevators instead and I ended up spending 3 hours stuck in the damn elevator. I have sense decided that I will never let someone put me in that situation again. So like Wess says, don't act unless we ask you to, or better yet ask us if we need help and if we say no thank you, then just leave us be and move on.
You have to disable Mobilespeak? How annoying!
I think that's one of the few things you and I disagree on, Carin. If you explain your frustrations in a clear way and somebody gets offended, that's that person's problem, not mine. I've got nothing to feel guilty about, I'm just being honest. Besides, the ones that get offended tend to be the ones who aren't listening to what you're saying. Anybody who stops and listens usually understands and says things like "woe, people actually do that? How stupid!" The problem people are the ones who want to do their good deed and run along to the next thing. They don't care what you want because they're helping! And in cases like that, I don't much care what they think, just as they don't appear to care much about me.
very true! there are those people who offer to help you and if you refuse their help because you can manage let that be how it is and the person should move on nicely right? Well that is good in theory but doesn't always work but they don't need to get in ya face though. If anybody asks me do i need help when i am up the street walking along the wall of shops they may try to offer me help but i say thanks but no thanks. I walk along those particular shops all the time or not necessarily all the time but quite frequently you get my drift. you can go out of your way to try to be nice and somebody could very easily turn on you for no reason whatsoever! It doesn't take much for people to offer help and their reactions are different if you say no.
very true! there are those people who offer to help you and if you refuse their help because you can manage let that be how it is and the person should move on nicely right? Well that is good in theory but doesn't always work but they don't need to get in ya face though. If anybody asks me do i need help when i am up the street walking along the wall of shops they may try to offer me help but i say thanks but no thanks. I walk along those particular shops all the time or not necessarily all the time but quite frequently you get my drift. you can go out of your way to try to be nice and somebody could very easily turn on you for no reason whatsoever! It doesn't take much for people to offer help and their reactions are different if you say no.
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